Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Softcore star on "Today" Show

So, I am in my hotel room, flipping around on the tv (pretty good selection at the new Fairfield Inn, right next to the ballpark they are building without a team) watching the end of the Today show, and there is some 40ish woman talking about a charity online auction to help some unnamed charity (I came in late) featuring dresses from fashion magazine editors.

Now, this woman is kinda sleezy-sexy, but looks damn familiar. Now, I didn't know her name, but I know she is a featured actress in Cinemax adult stuff. Didn't take long to find out, thanks to the internet.

Her name?

Regina Russell.

Of course, now she is trying to go legit...here's the pic from her website www.workingactress.com

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas


It truly is the most wonderful time of year!

Saturday, December 24, 2005


Another strong performance, in fornt of a mostly friendly crowd, and while they let up at times, they were always in control and played very well.

What must be said is that Mike Adamle SUCKS as a play by play announcer. When he isn't tripping over sentences, he is ten seconds behind the play in progress. This isn't radio, Mike, we saw what just happened.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Beware the In State Rival II

Once again, IU takes on an in-state rival after its own impressive performance against a higher ranked opponent.

This would seem again ripe for a disaster. Coach Davis likely to show the boys a tape of the Indiana State debacle, and impress upon hte gang how important it is to be as intense against Butler as it was aginst Charlotte.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

All French Outfield?

Fox Sports say the Cubs are dangling Prior as part of a Tejada trade, but I don't like it.

I don’t want to trade Prior or Zambrano, but the “conventional wisdom” is that they wont keep both after they can make big $$$. It just makes the Wood contract look bad (Big $$ and a no-trade), and the Cubs looking to make a splash for the fans (getting offensive player, albeit apparently a top 5 player) rather than getting the team best positioned to win the World Series (pitching pitching pitching).

Jacque Jones is a shorter, slightly faster Jeromy Burnitz, but there was little else available free agent-wise.

Hendry was on WGN Monday night intimating that another deal would be made, so who knows.

As a buddy of mine said, the Cubs do better when we have no expectations, or expect them to be bad.

Monday, December 19, 2005


Ready to play.

They shot lights out, which is great, but makes you wonder what happens once they have a bad shooting night.

Watching Marco play with D.J. was a great preview, but they need to make their layups, and especially their FREE THROWS.

On to Butler on Friday, and another potential sucker game.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Thank You, Danni

She deserved to win, and although she wore too much makeup at the "reunion," as did all the women, she looked great.

Apparently she was a beauty pageant contestant, and quite good at it.

Can Playboy be far behind?

Sunday, December 11, 2005



Just as Coach Davis and his team was bad against Indiana State, they were great against Kentucky. Everything is back to normal. We can now argue that we will win the Big 10, and go far in March.

And D.J. White should be back.

The 26 point margin looks strange for anyone who watched the game. IU saved its biggest run for the final two minutes. Kentucky had created a few turnovers in a full-court press and had gotten to within 65-52 on a 3-pointer by Joe Crawford with 1:57 to play.

But IU closed the game on a 14-1 run, making all eight of its foul shots in that stretch.

Boys, take the week off. Study Hard!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

In Memoriam

Stir Crazy is great, and Silver Streak is one of the first movies I ever saw at the theatre.

He was also hilarious hosting Saturday Night Live, as the priest in Exorcist II and the job interviewee.

White? Black.
Negro? Whitey.
Colored? Redneck.
Tarbaby? Peckerwood.
Spearchucker? White trash.
Junglebunny? Honkey.
Nigger? Dead honkey.

So Far So Good

It's halftime...35-19

They are playing very well. Huge intensity, and it appears that Kentucky is not its usual self this year. Glad I picked them in the College Basketball Pool.

The intensity is really being seen in Davis. This is the game he cares about the most. Certainly the team is reacting to being aired out by him. Good to see.

Marco is a force today, though the announcers were making comments concerning his conditioning, and marvelling over his newly found maturity. This has not been discussed anywhere I have seen.

I love these halftime ads from the coaches asking the fans to cheer respectfully. Good Sports Make Great Fans. Indeed!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Can You Trust a Guy with Two French First Names?

I hope the Cubs win the World Series soon, because the Las Vegas / San Antonio Marlins will have a great rotation in the next few years, compliments of the Cubs. Willis, and now Ricky Nolasco (14-3 in AA) and Reynal Pinto.

Maybe I will be wrong. Maybe.

Maybe Juan Pierre will make us forget Corey Patterson and Felix Pie. Maybe.



They couldn’t hit their 3 pointers when they packed it in on Marco, and missed layups like they did last year.

To go from up 11 to down 11 in the second half before losing is unconscionable. This is the type of thing that gets coaches fired.

No fire, no hustle, and no one but Killingsworth who played inside the arc. Come back Sean Kline, we miss you! Ben Allen is a 7 foot shooter, but a good one at that…

Monday, December 05, 2005

They say her name is Kelly Brook...

I Did Not Know That

I made the mistake of flipping over to the NASCAR Awards during the 3:00p NFL games, which was amusing in that they brought all these guys up in tuxes and made them give a speech like they had just won Oscars or something.

Anyway, turns out the fabulous Amanda Beard is dating/banging/etc. of the NASCAR boys. Kudos to him!

Sunday, December 04, 2005


I did watch the game, albeit during our “trimming” of the Christmas tree. They did seem to have somewhat a hangover after the big Duke game, but they played well enough to win, which was good enough for me.

100 victories already for Coach Davis. Good for him. Really.

Marco fouled out, which should be of some concern, with DJ and Sean Kline out. Luckily, Ben Allen, who appears basketball mature beyond his years, stepped up.

Now, we gotta beat the Sycamores!

Thursday, December 01, 2005


After 4 hours of sleep, I go watch the IU game at FFx1. The Wife had told me that the first 5 minutes were bad, but not to worry. She didn’t watch past halftime (because?).

Anyway, they lost by 8, but considering the what-ifs:

If they weren’t so tight at the beginning…
If they weren’t so winded (seemingly) at the end…
If they could shoot free throws…

I think they can easily be the class of the Big 10, and the Kentucky game will be another good test. No one will forget Marco G. this year.

DMB and Andy's Towing

My day yesterday…

Go to Work: Chat about IU-Duke game, get 7.5 points, bet $1
Leave for Champaign with Guy in My Office with Whom I Share Many Interests
Traffic until I-57 sucks
Go to Willy’s Illini Inn for a couple pre-show beers
Assume the walk to Assembly Hall will be no problem

The show was great; real good seats (on the aisle like I like)

Set List (on at 8:20)
What Would You Say?
#41 (Everyday outro)
Grey Street
Seek Up
Stand Up
Hunger for the Great Light
When The World Ends
American Baby Intro
American Baby
Too Much
Jimi Thing
Smooth Rider
Crash (Into Me)

Christmas Song
Ants Marching
(done at 1040p)

We then make the trek back past the dorms to where the car was parked. Turns out it is not there. Huh. I look across the street and see Andy’s Towing’s number. I call and they have it. Now, I just need to get to the towing yard. At Market and Columbia. Wherever the fuck that is.

I know there are no cabs in Chambana, and remember being surprised to see one as we walked back from the show. Luckily, I see one on Fourth Street, and hail it. It goes by, crosses the intersection, and stops. We get in and tell the cabbie to go to Market and Columbia. Andy’s Towing.

He asks where that is. I said (always in an even tone) that I did not know and asked if it was his first day. No, his second. I call the towing guy back and he gets us there. Except when I see it and tell the cabbie (who spoke English), he ignores me. I shout “IT’S RIGHT THERE ON THE LEFT.” He turns left, and keeps going. STOP THE CAR RIGHT NOW. This he understands. I get out and see my car in the fence.

The tower eventually comes, but marvels that his partner, some woman, refuses to let me in. I pay him his $115 cash, and am set free. Luckily, he tow episode only costs us (in time) 20-25 minutes. Getting that cab, as incompetent as he is, was key.

I then have to drive the ~120 miles to Chicago. I got a headache from concentrating so hard, and passing numerous trucks at 85mph.

I drop Guy in My Office with Whom I Share Many Interests at the parking garage downtown for his trip out to the western ‘burbs, stop at McD’s for 2 cheeseburgers (on sesame seed buns!) and go home.

I have TiVo’d the IU-Duke game, but am too wiped to watch. I do watch Pam Zekman’s bullshit on elevators.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Hottest...or, OK Boys, start wacking!

Since you are here, do me a favor and click on an ad!

The one on the left is an old picture, but it was the only decent one I could find until the one on the right. She is on One Tree Hill as Rachel, and she now has red hair. Her name is Danneel Harris. Nice name, huh? Sorry, I originally spelled it Daneel Harris.

Think a young Angie Everhart.

In the last episode, she was wearing an orange Izod, and looked unbelievable. She also did this cheerleading tryout thing, which showed off her assets. She plays a bad girl. Very bad.


Upon further review, I see she was on One Life to Live with another fav, Jamie Luner.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

It was 6 years ago today.


Glad it is getting farther and farther in the rear view mirror. Couldn't be in a better, more different place.

Thank you, Jesus.


So, they destroyed Western Illinois in a bandbox of a gym that they could not even sell out.

One of the announcers said, “they have almost sold out this 5,000 seat arena.” Their typical crowd is 1500.

Again, why was IU there? Nice gesture, Coach Davis. Now, let’s never do that again.

The real test, as we all know, is Wednesday. I will be at a show, but TiVo’ing the game, so don’t tell me who won.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bo-bby Howry

Pretty Good numbers from last year, but I never heard his name. Is that because he was in the American League or because he is a setup guy? Hopefully he has his White Sox stink off of him.


Once again, this team is destined to look good on paper.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Well, I started to watch the game last night against Florida A&M, but was summoned to go out drinking. The Auburn grad I saw there was bummed that his best players were in the Cream and Crimson.

From what I saw, Vaden wasn’t shooting well, but he ended up 4-9 from the field. Strickland continues to impress as a scorer.

Anyway, a 37 point blowout is good, with the Leathernecks up next.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Random Hot Chick

Not sure where I came up with this, but she is easy on the eyes.

Oh, by the way...

So, I see in the paper today (but not on line, figure that out) that the Cubs are raising prices. It was in a blurb right under the story about the big introduction of Scott Eyre. It also happened to be on a Friday, so it wouldn't make real big news.

6 Value Games @ $20
31 Regular Games @ $43
44 Prime Games @ $50

My half season ticket: $7306


Friday, November 18, 2005


  • Marco Killingsworth is the Man.
  • Earl Calloway looks like is is forty-five years old.
  • What is with wearing #51?
  • They don't play much defense.
  • They are much more athletic than any IU team I can remember.

Most noteworthy, though?

The fabulous blonde in the green sweater and tight white pants serving as the Colonels manager. Hubba Hubba.

Meet the New PussyChin, the ADD Poster Boy

Sure, he pitches every day and seems to be completely average, but meet your new Mike Remlinger.

And, he has a personal gameplan...if I can just remember where I found it...my mind just wanders....

  • Focus on short-term goals. I focus on the here and now. I tackle only what I need to accomplish at that time, rather than thinking about everything I have to do for the day/week.
  • Get organized. I use a personal digital organizer to keep track of my schedule, appointments and errands.
  • Follow my doctor’s orders. My doctor recommends a treatment program that includes focus techniques and medication – and it works! I also take the medication my doctor prescribed for me at the same time every day.
  • Manage my symptoms consistently the whole day. Sticking with a treatment program that includes focus techniques and a medication that works for 12 hours is important for a better day at work on the ball field and at home with my wife and two boys.
  • Communicate. I don’t try to manage my ADHD alone. I rely on a team – my doctor, wife and teammates to help me manage my ADHD.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

If you are into looks...

I think if she would hang and/or bang Vince Vaughn, why not me? I am funny, pudgy, and moderately good looking....

Monday, November 07, 2005

Stolen from Deadspin.com, but...

Now We Know Why The WNBA Doesn't Have Cheerleaders

Well, these type of stories don’t come along every day. As we’re sure most of you have heard by now, two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested in Tampa early Sunday morning after, police say, the two of them were getting them some Sheryl Swoopes in the bathroom. That itself isn’t illegal (thank God!); punching a woman who was complaining about the wait outside the bathroom is.

So far, the cheerleaders are saying it’s a case of mistaken identity, which, if true, freaking sucks. But, if police reports are to be believed, we’re dealing with Renee and Angela. Not surprisingly, it’s darned-near impossible to get on their official Panthers bio pages right now — though we think it’s worth the wait — but Panthers officials emphasize that they made the trip to Tampa on their own; the team does not have cheerleaders for road games.

We could go on and on about this, and rest assured, we will. But for now, we’re just going to reemphasize that two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were allegedly having sex with each other in the bathroom of a Florida bar. We totally went to the wrong bars this weekend.

Panthers Cheerleaders Arrested [850: The Blog]

Cheerleader Bios [Carolina Panthers]

Sunday, November 06, 2005

GREAT Article about us sad Cubs fans

By Andrew Buchanan

I'm a lifelong Cubs fan but I strolled over to the White Sox World Series rally during my lunch hour to catch a glimpse of the celebration, knowing it may not happen again for another century or so. The scene was electric and the turnout incredible. Made me wonder where all these people are on Tuesday nights in April when the Sox are in town, because they certainly aren't at the Cell.

Sorry, but I'm feeling a little like Lewis "Scooter" Libby right now, hobbled and in hiding, the target of attacks and derision. I spent the preceding weeks on the defensive about being a Cubs fan and grew increasingly annoyed at the constant slights from Sox fans and the news media, who merrily joined in (lazily regurgitating myths and cliches about Cubdom).

The irony is that I like the Sox, attend a couple of games a summer (no lines for beer or the bathrooms, and the food's much better) and had great appreciation for the way the 2005 team played. And I wanted to cheer for them, I really did. Insufferable Sox fans, however, made it impossible.

On the night the Sox clinched the pennant I was lying in bed watching the post-game celebration when the phone rang, which was odd because it was 11:30 on a Sunday. I answered, and here's how the conversation went:

Me: "Hello."


It didn't sound like anyone I knew or anything one of my Sox fan friends would do.

Then ...


Sox fans' hatred of the Cubs is well-documented, but I was amazed that even during their moment of greatest glory it always seemed to come back to the Cubs. The day after that phone call I was walking by Wrigley Field when I saw a man in a Jeep driving by holding a giant Sox flag out of the sunroof, a huge grin on his face. Couple minutes later and I saw him again. He's doing laps around Wrigley like he's Karl Rove circling the Democratic National Committee office the day after the election.

Unfortunately, it seems the flag-waver and my late-night caller (it was a wrong number) were representative of many Sox fans: happy their team was making history; happier still the Cubs weren't.

And the media eagerly hopped on the Cubs-bashing bandwagon, reporters from far and near writing and blabbering about the supposed differences between the casual Cubs fans and the loyal-to-a-fault Sox followers.

A New York Times writer said people on the North Side were ignoring the Sox, spending their time "indoors making lattes or banking online or whatever it is Cubs fans do in October." In an op-ed piece for the Times, Studs Terkel, who should know better than to make such generalizations, intimated that Cubs fans don't even follow the game and compared attending a game at Wrigley to "going to an air show or `Cats'--something tourists do."

Say it ain't so, Studs.

Another article noted how Sox fandom was passed down from generation to generation, while following the Cubs was something one just picked up on a whim, when the weather was right, I guess. For the record, the Cubs have been around since 1876, 25 years longer than the Sox, and have a fan base that's probably double the Sox.

By the time the confetti had cleared on the Sox celebration ("shredded Cubs season tickets," one hilarious TV news reporter quipped), I had had enough.The irony in most of the arguments was obvious, considering many Sox fans aren't even motivated enough to actually, you know, attend their team's games on a consistent basis. One contention is that Wrigley Field is a "playground" for the young and drunk where no one pays attention to the game. Of course, there is that element at Wrigley, more so than on the South Side, but if you take a look around Wrigley it's easily apparent they are a distinct minority.

In fact, it's the Cell where the distractions abound: exploding scoreboard, idiotic races on the big screen between innings, blaring rock music that makes it virtually impossible to talk baseball even if you want to, doggie day at the park. If you listen to Sox fans and the media you'd think some of those dogs know how to keep score.

Another argument is that Cubs fans are casual in their loyalty, only following the team when the weather is nice and because the park is only a short stroll from their Wrigleyville apartments. This one is probably the most ludicrous. Are the people who pile off those buses--having traveled from Iowa, Wisconsin and Downstate Illinois--casual fans? Yuppies maybe? How about all of the Cubs fans you see in the stands at games in Atlanta, Los Angeles, Miami and Milwaukee? Or for that matter, the Cell during cross-town games, when it seems almost half the fans are cheering for the men in blue? Not true fans, I guess.

So, I invite Studs Terkel, dumb New York Times reporters and Sox fans to attend a Cubs game next summer (we'll return the favor when the Cubs play at the Cell and help you get a rare sellout). Have a seat in the beautiful old ballpark and glance around at fathers and daughters taking in the game together; the 95-year-old ushers and hand-operated scoreboard; Ronnie Woo-Woo and the ballhawks; the decidedly unyuppie fans from points all over the Midwest and just up the block.

And most of all, enjoy yourself ... and don't for a second think about the Sox.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Sign me up!

Timberwolves' second-round pick Bracey Wright had a shot at sticking with the parent club, at least on the inactive list, because the coaches weren't confident that the Florida Flame would use Wright enough at point guard, a position he is trying to learn.

But on Tuesday, Coach Don Casey told both players they would be heading to Fort Myers within days.

"If they're sending me there to play a new position, to learn the ins and outs of it, I don't have any problem with that," Wright said. "I've never been a point guard exclusively, so if I have to go there and learn that, it's only going to make me better."

The players are not thrilled with the move, despite dodging their first Minnesota winter. In the first year of this new "affiliate" system, NBA teams will feed players to the minor league while retaining their rights. The parent clubs, however, will not be allowed to dictate style of play, positions, minutes or other basketball decisions.

Casey said that, while they're gone, Wright (and another rookie) will not be forgotten.

"They'll be members of the team," the coach said. "They'll have all the rights and privileges of our players. The paychecks still keep coming, the per diem still keeps coming [for road games]. . . . We'll send coaches down, and we'll also bring them back to work with us once we get a few days practice. We can do that three times a year."

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

He Still Gets Paid though, right?

Bracey Wright made the Minnesota Timberwolves but was put on the inactive list.

What exactly does that mean?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Thankfully, no Americans are involved....

This, from the CBC:

Women's curling will be getting more attention in the coming weeks, but not in a way that many expect.

A new international calendar features nude and scantily clad female curlers.

The idea came from Ana Arce, a photographer who skipped three seasons for the Andorran women but has since moved to Spain.

"I think it's going to change the image of the sport which is not so nice," Arce, who also poses in the calendar, told The Canadian Press. "I've been playing for eight years and there are so many beautiful girls playing and nobody knows it. ****LIE ****

"I doubt that anyone is going to be shocked and everybody's going to enjoy that and like it." Curlers who pose in the Ana Arce Team Sponsorship Calendar 2006 will divide the proceeds. Arce invited curlers she knew personally over the years, including Canadians Melanie Robillard of Ottawa and Lynsay Ryan of Kelowna, B.C.

Ryan, 21, is also the daughter of two-time world champion skip and 2006 Olympic hopeful Pat Ryan. Ryan, who attends McMaster University in Hamilton, posed in July in a see-through sarong in the forest of Fussen, Germany.

The 12 models that participated in the calendar represent curling teams from Denmark, Italy, Spain, England, Poland, Germany and Canada.

"Some of the girls showed a little bit more, like breasts, because they wanted to," Arce said of the black-white photos. "But it is very, very tasteful."

Other well-known Canadian female curlers didn't have a problem with the calendar but wouldn't participate.

"I couldn't, I'm too shy," said Jennifer Jones, the defending Scott Tournament of Hearts champion from Winnipeg. "It's very European. "If the right people want to do it I think it's kind of a fun idea and innovative and hopefully it will get curling some publicity."

The calendar will cost roughly $25 Cdn.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Nothing like Jamie Luner on a Friday...

I don't really like the hat, but what can you do...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

One win away...and yet... he's gotta talk Cubs

Cubs' manager Dusty Baker isn't showing much hometown-love and that's got White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen upset.

Before the postseason began, Baker was asked by ESPN The Magazine who he would be rooting for in the playoffs.

"I got no one to root for," Baker said. "I sure as heck ain't rooting for the White Sox or Cardinals. But maybe Atlanta since they've won all those divisions but only one championship. The Angels just won it against me, so forget them. Anyway, fishing season starts in November. That's my time."

Guillen, who usually heaps praise on crosstown peer, was perplexed by the comments.
"Dusty, I don't like what he said," Guillen told the Chicago Sun-Times. "I thought we were friends."

"That's OK, we'll see [which team] owns the town now," Guillen told the paper.

My guess is that the Cubs will still own the town.

I stayed up until 130a for this?????

The White Sox will win the World Series, (probably tonight) and I suppose they deserve it.

But, has there been a worse team offensively in the World Series than these jamokes?

Biggio DONE
Bagwell DONE
Ausmus DONE
Ensberg CHOKER


Tuesday, October 25, 2005

More of those classy White Sox fans

Houston Chronicle

Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen issued a public apology on behalf of his organization to Astros second baseman Craig Biggio, whose wife was slapped by a fan in the stands at U.S. Cellular Field.

"I feel like it's our fault, and I talked to (Biggio) about it, and he knows we're sorry," Guillen said. "He knows it was something we couldn't control. It wasn't like a fight. (The fan) hit the lady and left."

The incident occurred on Sunday night during Game 2 of the 101st World Series at Chicago's ballpark, where several members of the Astros' traveling party were harassed.

"He slapped her and ran," Biggio said of the fan who struck his wife, Patty. "She ran after him. My brother-in-law ended up putting him against the wall. That's pretty sorry."

Asked if Patty had been hurt, Biggio said his New Jersey-raised wife held her own.
"You don't slap a New Jersey girl and get away with it," he said. "That happens sometimes. It's terrible. It's over."

Added Guillen: "I wish she would have grabbed something and broken his head. If that happened to my family, it would have been a big problem. ... People should just go to the game and not bother people next to you, or you're not a White Sox fan or a baseball fan. Just enjoy the game. Drink if you want to drink; just respect the people next to you."

No criminal complaint was made against the fan, according to Chicago police.

"The word was that the guy had been gouging her a little bit, pulling her hair and just doing some stupid things, things that are just not necessary," Garner said. "Have your fun. This (World Series) is a great thing for them and a great thing for us. Cheer and be as loud as you want to be and whatever else, but don't do that.

"On behalf of the White Sox organization, I just don't think we could control that," Guillen said. "But I think the family is a big part of my life. I think especially the kids. And when that happened in the ballpark, you feel you need to be supportive.

"When you're a man and you hit a lady, no matter whose wife it is or whose sister it is, you respect them. But it's something that's tough to control. It happened so quick."

Although Patty Biggio was the only Astros wife who was slapped Sunday, she wasn't the only member of the traveling party who was harassed. Ausmus said his wife, Liz, endured some vulgar taunts and a few vulgar hand gestures throughout the night.

"Some of the treatment that the Astros families received at U.S. Cellular Field was a huge black eye for the city of Chicago," Ausmus said. "Now, I understand that's not indicative of all the people in the Chicago area, because I have friends and relatives there.

"I know the people of Chicago are overwhelmingly good people. But if I was from Chicago, I'd be embarrassed by the way the Astros' families were treated by the White Sox fans. My wife didn't get hit or anything, but people flipped her off and were screaming at her."

"I know the security in Chicago is doing a great job," Guillen said. "And when something happens so quick, you can't blame anybody. And the guy that did it, he should be brought to Biggio, and he's the one that can hopefully get him back.

"I told the police, 'Don't put him in jail. Bring him to me in the dugout.' But hopefully, that won't happen again."

Shortstop Adam Everett heard a little bit about the incident, but he knew more than enough to form his opinion.

"That's real weak," he said. "That's bad. I don't care where you're at, to hit a woman is not good."

Monday, October 24, 2005

Ozzie & Sox in Series but cannot ignore the Cubs

From Rozner today: http://www.dailyherald.com/sports/rozner.asp?id=25158

Holding court in the dugout, Ozzie Guillen reminded the media that he hates Wrigley Field.

“Ask the players about Wrigley Field. They have 20,000 rats in the hitting cage,’’ Guillen said. “This is a Cubs town, man. If we win this year, Wrigley Field will be packed for 30 days in a row. They’ll be sold out no matter what.’’

Meow Meow Meow

Quit obsessing over the Cubs and win your fucking World Series.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I Couldn't Have Said It Any Better Myself...

From the Chicago Tribune today, by Brian Hiatt.

Picture two ugly sisters--think Patty and Selma Bouvier from "The Simpsons"--spending their childhood living together, arguing over who was prettier, who was more popular, who did better in school--even though neither has much to brag about.

That's what Chicago Cubs and White Sox fans have been like for the last 46 years. For seasons immemorial, North and South Siders have bickered and brawled over who won more games, who (before the interleague season series era) won the therwise meaningless Crosstown Classic, or who (after interleague play began) won the season series. But we never debated pennants or World Series titles because, well, that never was an issue.

This year, the Sox have a date for the prom. Cub fans don't and haven't in the last 60 years. And we don't know how to feel about it.

Are we happy for them? Please. Are we secretly rooting for them? Doubtful, lthough if they face the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series, we will have quite a dilemma on our hands.

Are we jealous? Oh, you better believe it.

Watching the American League Championship Series, I kept waiting for the White Sox to implode, for that sudden Bartman moment to jolt them back to the reality of the fact that they are a Chicago baseball team, and Chicago baseball teams simply don't accomplish anything in the playoffs, let alone advance to the World Series. It never happened. And when Paul Konerko snared that last ground ball Sunday and sprinted to the bag, I watched the Sox celebrate stone-faced, just as I did when the Florida Marlins exulted on the field at Wrigley in 2003. The feelings were almost exactly the same.

That chilly, dreadful October evening seems like yesterday. Ozzie Guillen was there at the time as the Marlins' third-base coach, whooping it up with his players on the field. There he was again Sunday night, as the White Sox manager, accepting hand shakes and kisses. Ugh.

I put the remote in overdrive. But every local TV channel was dominated with gratuitous coverage of the Sox celebration. More ugh. Then the footage cut away to that concrete and glass monstrosity formerly known as "New Comiskey," to show Sox fans reveling in the streets.

That could have been us two years ago. It should have been us. Clark and Addison Streets were swelling with delirious, success-starved Cub fans, ready to storm the ballroom, only to have the doors slammed in our faces.

How can they be going to the dance? Our starting rotation is supposed to be better. Our offense is supposed to be better. Our front office actually spends money in the ff-season and makes bold moves at trade deadline. Our fan base actually fills our ballpark, even if a good percentage of them are there to guzzle beer and sit in the sun. We're, we're better than them! Right? Right?

I would venture to say that most Cub fans don't really mind the Sox. Contrary to what the self-professed "real" baseball fans on the South Side say, most of us actually do know a thing or two about the game, and recognize good baseball when we see it. There is a lot to appreciate about this year's Sox team. The starters have been dominant beyond precedent in the ALCS, the offense has been surprisingly productive and the defense has been top-notch. The White Sox are very, very good. None of us will deny that.

It's Sox fans we can't stand. During any given season, we generally don't care about what the Pale Hose are up to, but Sox fans are always watching us, waiting for our team to implode--as it routinely has in recent years, at various points following the All-Star break--so they can rub salt in the wound when it happens. The picture of a clueless, expressionless Steve Bartman sitting along the Wrigley third-base-line wall is still the preferred online avatar of Sox fans posting their anti-Cub rants on various Internet forums. To hear them talk about it, they hadn't experienced a happier moment in their baseball lives than that 2003 National League Championship Series until, well, Sunday.

Cub fans barely noticed the Sox's playoff failures in 1993 and 2000. But in 1984, when the Cubs squandered a 2-0 National League playoff series lead to the San Diego Padres, Sox fans were elated. They were downright giddy when that ground ball rolled through Leon Durham's legs. I was 11 at the time and, following the last out of Game 5, I rushed outside the house in tears, only to see my friend, one of a family of Sox fans who lived down the street, ride by on his bicycle. This was the same kid whom I had consoled one year earlier after his "Winning Ugly" Sox choked against the Baltimore Orioles in the American League playoffs. His kind words to me? "Go Padres!" he yelled.

That's a Sox fan for you, whether he's 11, 31 or 81. We don't really root against the Sox, but they live for the Cubs to fail. It's like your younger sister jeering you after you've been stood up for the umpteenth time, even though she's never been asked out on a date herself.

Sunday night, I waited patiently for the ax to fall, for fate to intervene, as it has for my Cubs every time they have gotten this close in my lifetime. The only Bartman moment I got was the ground-rule double by Chone Figgins, snared by a fan in the right-field seats, allowing the Los Angeles Angels to tie the game 2-2 in the fifth. No matter. The White Sox efficiently put up four more runs and shut down the Angels in the late innings.

Things aren't looking good, considering the Sox will have home-field advantage against either the most disappointing playoff team in recent memory not named the Atlanta Braves (St. Louis) or a geriatric bunch (Houston) that is hitting something like 3 for 100 with runners in scoring position in the playoffs.Not only is our acne-scarred, mouthy, bratty little sister going to the prom, she just might be crowned queen.

We're so happy for you, Sox fans. Now excuse me. I'm going upstairs to my room to pout.

Monday, October 17, 2005

"These are times that try men’s souls…” Thomas Paine


So, I was wrong. Not only did they get out of the first round, but they are going to the World Series.

For the first time in my lifetime, Chicago will host the World Series, and I won’t be there. In fact, I will not be watching.

I guess you have to give Ozzie Guillen credit, he did it.

The Game Two bullshit involving the gutless Doug Eddings, in his final postseason appearance, methinks, has faded into the woodwork, though it undeniably was the turning point, or let’s say tipping point, in the series. No one will really remember this when discussing the season.

So, what now, for a life-long Cubs hater? Keep a low profile, speak only when spoken to, and quietly hope they lose to whoever they play.

Still, they and their pathetic fans will have the final word.


Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The Learned Justice Miers

From a Washing ton Post story of today:
One evening in the 1980s, several years after Harriet Miers dedicated her life to Jesus Christ, she attended a lecture at her Dallas evangelical church with Nathan Hecht, a colleague at her law firm and her on-again, off-again boyfriend. The speaker was Paul Brand, a surgeon and the author of "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made," a best-selling exploration of God and the human body.

When the lecture was over, Miers said words Hecht had never heard from her before. "I'm convinced that life begins at conception," Hecht recalled her saying. According to Hecht, now a Texas Supreme Court justice, Miers has believed ever since that abortion is "taking a life." "I know she is pro-life," said Hecht, one of the most conservative judges in Texas. "She thinks that after conception, it's not a balancing act -- or if it is, it's a balancing of two equal lives."

Hecht and other confidants of Miers all pledge that if the Senate confirms her nomination to the Supreme Court, her judicial values will be guided by the law and the Constitution. But they say her personal values have been shaped by her abiding faith in Jesus, and by her membership in the massive red-brick Valley View Christian Church, where she was baptized as an adult, served on the missions committee and taught religious classes. At Valley View, pastors preach that abortion is murder, that the Bible is the literal word of God and that homosexuality is a sin -- although they also preach that God loves everybody.

As Dennis Miller said, “No one finds Christ on prom night, it’s after you fucked up things so badly no one else wants anything to do with you.”

Adam & Eve, Noah’s Ark, Jonah & the Whale, the loaves & fishes, etc. – ALL LITERALLY TRUE ACCORDING TO THE NEWEST JUSTICE

“And that’s why you won’t see a unicorn to this very day.”

This is more frustrating than seeing the White Sox win.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Sox Clinch Playoff Spot

You will not get out of the first round. Then the beatings will commence....

Monday, September 26, 2005

Christopher Hitchens' Brilliant Essay on Intelligent Design

George Orwell once wrote a brilliant short essay about what to do when confronted with someone who firmly believes that the earth is flat. The first problem, as he was forced to admit, is that one tends to take the roundness of the globe for granted and has often forgotten what the initial arguments were. Thus, one useful handhold—the ability of round-Earthers to predict eclipses and so forth—is no good, because ancient Egyptian flat-Earthers could predict eclipses also (even if it took them a great deal more work). The unblinking wild-eyed flat-Earther, of course, is always ready with just this kind of "gotcha." In the course of writing his column, Orwell gradually reconvinced himself and his readers that the world was spherical after all. Of course, he failed to demonstrate that it moves around the sun and that things are not the other way around, but that's a whole other argument.

The piece came back to me after I finished reading Jacob Weisberg's sarcastic demolition of the idea of "equal time," or "teaching the controversy," in respect to the new mania for "intelligent design" as a counter to evolution. In the formal sense, he was quite right. We do not and we should not teach rubbish and superstition alongside science. "Intelligent design" is not even a theory. It is more like a mentality. It admits of no verification or falsity and does not deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as a series of hypotheses and experiments that have served us well in analyzing the fossil record, the record of molecular biology, and—through the unraveling of the DNA strings—our kinship with other species. And this is to say nothing of the possibility of medical advances that may astonish us in our own lifetimes. To put astrology on the same blackboard as the Hubble telescope would be an approximate analogy. I was sent, this week, an article on "Intelligent Falling," wherein certain advocates of "intelligent design" said that gravity was not a natural law because it did not explain matters such as angel flight or the fall of Satan from heaven, the latter of which was mandated rather than gravitational. As is so often the case with pieces that appear in the Onion, I honestly could not decide whether this was a clever hoax or not—the arguments were almost exactly as stupid as the real thing.

Nonetheless, I found myself asking: How do I know about Darwin to begin with? And the answer was this: I was taught him as part of history as well as part of biology. After the voyage of the good ship Beagle and the amazing discoveries that attended it, Darwin decided to change his own theistic views and also to challenge the rooted conceptions of Christian Victorian society. He succeeded beyond any expectation. The great set piece, which I was taught in school, involved the debate at Oxford between Darwin's supporter Thomas Huxley (ancestor of Aldous and Julian and coiner of the word "agnostic") and Bishop Wilberforce, known even to his own flock as Soapy Sam. In front of a large audience, Huxley cleaned Wilberforce's clock, ate his lunch, used him as a mop for the floor, and all that. It was a "tipping point." After that, there were still those who believed that God had put fossils in the rock to test our faith, and those like Bishop Ussher who claimed to have dated the birth of the world to an exact time—4004 B.C.—but they were a spent force.

This moment was not to be staged in America for several more decades, but the courtroom battle between Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan in Dayton, Tenn., did eventually come. And old man Bryan blew himself out of the water by repeating Bishop Ussher's claims. We have an excellent firsthand account of this from H.L. Mencken, and at least two movie versions of Inherit the Wind, which give a fair summary of the dispute between "Rock of Ages and age of rocks," as Bryan so happily phrased it. There's also an excellent essay by Garry Wills, in his book Under God, which argues, quite wrongly in my opinion, that Bryan has had unfair press.
To my point, then. Why not make schoolchildren study the history of the argument? It would show them how to weigh and balance evidence, and it would remind them of the scarcely believable idiocy of the ancestors of "intelligent design." The tale is both amusing and instructive, and it is a vital part of the history of the 19th and 20th centuries. How could intelligent scientific secularism lose if this were part of the curriculum?

If we take the president up on his deceptively fair-minded idea of "teaching the argument," I think we could advance the ball a little further in other directions also. Houses of worship that do not provide space for leaflets and pamphlets favoring evolution (not necessarily Darwinism, which is only one of the theories of evolution and thus another proof of its scientific status) should be denied tax-exempt status and any access to public funding originating in the White House's "faith-based" initiative. Congress should restore its past practice of giving a copy of Thomas Jefferson's expurgated Bible—free of all incredible or supernatural claims—to each newly elected member. The same version of the Bible should be obligatory for study in all classes that affect to teach "divinity." No more Saudi Arabian money should be allowed to be spent in the United States on the opening of jihadist madrasas or the promulgation of a Wahhabi Quran that preaches hatred and contempt of other faiths and of atheism until the Saudi government permits the unmolested opening of Shiite and Sufi places of worship; Christian churches and Hindu temples of all denominations for its Philippine, Indian, and other helot classes; synagogues; and Thomas Paine Society libraries. No American taxpayers' money should be given to Israel unless it can be shown that it is not being used for the establishment of religion by Orthodox messianic settlements in the occupied territories and/or until the Israeli rabbinate recognizes Reform and Conservative Judaism as authentic.

Equal time. It has a nicer ring the more you say it. Bring it on.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I hate Notre Dame, 0-11 or 11-0

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

The White Sox play the Indians in Chicago for first place on a beautiful September night.

Attendance: 26,147

The Cubs play the Brewers in Milwaukee for third place inside a retractable roofed dome.

Attendance: 30,136

Need we ask why?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Now that I got my extension...

By Paul Sullivan
Tribune staff reporter
September 5, 2005, 8:42 PM CDT

It took 137 games for Dusty Baker's patience to run out.But the Cubs manager finally had seen enough Monday after watching his players miss several signs that helped pave the way to a 6-4 loss to St. Louis at Busch Stadium.

Afterward, Baker criticized mental lapses by Jerry Hairston, Ronny Cedeno and Todd Walker, who all missed signs."We keep going over them and over them and over them," Baker fumed. "It seems like the same guys are missing signs. You keep going over them, but you ought to have the signs by Sept. 5."

Hairston responded: "Obviously, you don't want to [miss signs]. But make no mistake about it. That's not why we lost."

The problems began in the fifth when Walker was caught stealing on the first pitch after a leadoff walk, apparently believing a hit-and-run was on with Henry Blanco at the plate. Walker blamed himself for the mistake."He put the sign on," Walker said, referring to third base coach Chris Speier. "I'm not making stuff up. He just took it off as the sequence went on, and I didn't see it. I'm not sure if that impacted whether we won or lost, but ..."


Cubs webmaster: Dr. Freud?

Is it worth noting that the Cubs’ website’s Day-by-Day Schedule ends when the season effectively did?


This is a blog, so “worth noting” is not the applicable standard.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Ryne Sandberg, Beef Stew, and R.J. Grunts

So, we went to the Ryne Sandberg Jersey Retirement Day at the ballpark.

Sure, it was a gorgeous day, and the team came back from a tie to win 14-3, but who cares? This team is such a colossal disappointment that I haven’t wanted to even talk about it (here).

I just checked eBay, and there are 10 of the giveaway hats on there. Kinda brings a tear to the eye, huh?

It is baffling to me why I still see Hollandsworth is playing left field, and don’t tell me it is because Matt Lawton is off to the Yankees. Is it so he can be showcased? Then play Walker, and all those other veterans that can be sold off for loose parts. Then when the Micah Bowies of the world come up and flop, we can be remembered where we got these guys. Like Justin Berg. Won’t it be cool to think that we only had to give up (in effect) Jason Dubois to get him? Assuming, of course, we ever hear from Jason again.

OK, but I would really like to see Murton playing out there, but this is not original thought, now is it?

Back to Ryne. I remember his first game with the Cubs. He was playing third base, and I was home from school, having faked sick (I can admit it now) so I would not have to go to Camp McLain, and the reason. I had (have) such a pathological hatred for beef stew that I had to avoid going once I saw it on the menu for one meal. One of six meals, I think. It was sixth grade, and I forfeited the chance to be cool and hang with cool kids (you know who you are/were), but I didn’t, and do you know why? I didn’t like beef stew.

So, anyway, I remember the Cubs were opening in Cincinnati for the traditional National League Opener. Bump Wills was the second baseman (his last year in the majors) and led off the game with a home run. Sandberg looked skinny, and was just starting his 1 for 32 season.

The coolest Sandberg story is from Labor Day 1987. Someone decided we were going out to dinner, and so, Mom and Dad and Laura went to RJ Grunts in Glenview. We had to wait for a table (those were the days in which we went to restaurants that required a wait for a table) I immediately saw it was the Sandbergs, and pleaded with Laura not to make a scene. I was 17 and wanted nothing less than to see my bogus sister embarrass me. She didn’t.

At that time, Dad was making faces at one of the small children in the waiting area. Finally, the parents (I can only assume Cindy) of the child decided that the wait was enough and left. This is the wife that was banging Mark Grace, Rafael Palmeiro, Dave Martinez and Rey Sanchez. And of the infamous corn cob dress.

They had given their name to the hostess under a name that was not Sandberg, and when Laura informed them who they had not seated, the hostess immediately called the name and started backtracking…but they were gone.

I also saw his last game as a Cub. He got a single in his last at bat, and was pulled for a pinch runner. I had hoped to see him finish the game, but he apparently asked to go out this way.

Thursday, August 04, 2005


Michael Barrett has never struck me as a smart guy. Whether it be the macho shit he pulled against Houston last year, the pitchers’ desire to have Bako or Blanco catch them, and the ability to see smoke come out of his ears when he is up with runners in scoring position and less than two outs, and that Matt Clement like pussy chin, all indications are that he is a million dollar body with a ten cent brain.

Then last night…yes, all those pitchers should have been covering first, and yes, it should have never come to him, but...


Monday, July 25, 2005

Chicago native misses the point....

Just because you grew up here and then moved away doesn't mean you know Chicago in 2005.


I get his point, but this is not the whole story. As a great nephew of Mayor Kelly of Chicago (he was my father's uncle), I have a soft spot for the system.

However, when the people given the jobs don't do it, or overcharge for their work, or do private work on the city's dime, all while services get cut and fees go up, it is worth looking at.

The Hired Trucks scandal is real. Giving Mayor for Life II this wet kiss (even without mentioning his name) gives people the same wrong impression that many outside of the City have.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I predict...

Patterson (among others: Mitre?) to the Marlins (or Orioles) as part of a 3 team trade that sends Jorge Julio and Juan Pierre to the Cubs, with Burnett and Lowell to the Orioles.

I just hope we do not have to take Sosa back as part of the trade.

Your 1976 NL All Star Catcher

Really small picture, I know, but what can you do.

The White Sox made Swisher their number-one draft choice in June of 1973, but sent him to the Cubs in the deal for Ron Santo that December. Though Swisher proved to be a disappointment, in 1976 he was the sole Cub named to the NL All-Star team (fuck that Sparky Anderson for not playing him); a special project of coach Lew Fonseca, he hit well in the first half, and was batting .394 against the Reds, whose manager, Sparky Anderson, chose the squad. Swisher finished the season at .236.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmm......

So, during my single days, possibly during the Summer of Greg, I was set up by my old boss, whose wife knew of a young lady that was looking to meet a nice young man. We went out, I think, twice, once to a Cubs game, and once for a couple beers. It didn’t go poorly, but neither one of us felt anything. I do think she thinks she broke my heart.

I remember feeling good when she told me it wasn’t going to work. I could then take up with this other girl I had met. No future there either, but I digress.

So, as I was having breakfast at, natch, The Breakfast Club, in walks this girl and a classmate from the Academy. Dave Turner.

Good for both of them.

Who cares? No one, but it’s a blog, and I can put any worthless crap I want, right?