The Fork is With Us

Carlos "The Fork" Marmol has just finished his first major league start, and is line for the win.

Reminds me of the other Crazy Carlos on the staff, and I am sure more of the Fork's colorful past will come to light as his success grows.

When an Airplane Lands Safely, it is Not News

Likewise, when Kerry Wood goes on the disabled list .

If there had been any doubt, this is the crossing of the Rubicon for Your Humble Correspondent.

Sure, he will get A.J. Burnett money from somebody, so let’s trade him, or convert him to a reliever, and if we burn out his arm, so be it. Or, if we do, and he somehow becomes Dennis Eckersley, sign him and keep him in the bullpen.

The Term, I Believe, is Crocodile Tears

There is now what may be irresponsibly described as irrefutable evidence that Golden Boy Albert Pujols is unequivocally a juicer.

The real tragedy is that Albert Pujols is to Cub fans what Brett Favre is to Bears fans: a player on the team’s biggest rival that kills us, but, up to now, earns begrudging respect from Chicago fans.

Now, they share, without any question, a love of the performance enhancing, or at least, the pain killing. At least Darryl Kile limited his use to a kinder substance.

All I know is that the toasted ravioli won’t taste as good tonight.

Close Enough

I love Carlos Zambrano. Always have. I like that he gets worked up about him pitching poorly or his team executing poorly. He cares. It isn't right to show your teammates up, but his hijinks are more a product of his own drive and passion than wantng to make others look bad.

He was brilliant last night, and his one-hit stuff through eight innings may not have been the most fun part of his night to watch.

His 3-2 3 run homer off of Tyler Buchholz was the culmination of a great at bat. He was fouling off all of his fastballs and then guessed right on what Brenly described as a "plus curveball." He plussed it onto the fence in right center, where it bounced harmlessly over the wall.

Zambrano looks so comfortable hitting and pitching at Enron that it makes you worry that he will end up there if the Cubs goof up and don't keep him.

Deep within the Transactions Column

The Cubs’ own Moonlight Graham was quietly released by the organization over this weekend. Adam Greenberg wore #17 with dignity and class, and is already a better announcer than any Cub to ever wear that number (except maybe John Mabry).

His Major League career consists of a single plate appearance against the Florida Marlins on July 9, 2005, in which he was hit in the head by a fastball from Valerio de los Santos while pinch hitting in the ninth inning. Consequently, his on-base percentage is a perfect 1.000, and, having zero at-bats and no chances on defense, he has no batting average or fielding percentage.

While many players have had careers consisting of a single at-bat, it is not yet known if any other players share the distinction of being hit with the only pitch every thrown to them at the major league level.

Listening to the game that July Saturday night, as we were, you kinda had the feeling that this was too odd NOT to be Adam Greenberg’s only appearance in the major leagues. His batting average never made it over .200 in AA and AAA. Makes you wonder what a ball to the noggin will do to you.

Good Luck to him.

A Star is Born

I go to watch The Sopranos on a Sunday evening, and I must say it was a good episode, but the reason I bring this up is that I was blown away by the stunning looks of A.J.’s girlfriend, played by Dania Ramirez. Tony was right, she is Dominican. And, apparently, an actress of some note. She was in She Hate Me by Spike Lee.

Elia / Dusty Parallel?

"We played pretty good in the beginning when we had our whole team. Most people have forgotten that. They just remember May, which we're trying to forget."... Dusty Baker June 3, 2006

Everybody associated with this organization have been winners their whole fuckin' life. Everybody. And the credit is not given in that respect. "Alright, they don't show because we're 5 and 14... and unfortunately, that's the criteria of them dumb 15 motherfuckin' percent that come out to day baseball. The other 85 percent are earning a living.” Lee Elia, April 29, 2003

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad, But Not Good Enough

Carlos Marmol looked good, and it looks like he can throw the ball hard, but will he be able to keep it over the plate. And is his curveball real good, or did the hitters have no scouting report?

I know Jerry Hairston didn’t play much, but why is Phil Nevin not playing more? Dusty told Paul Sullivan in the paper today that he will likely only play against lefties. So that is a Womack/Nevin platoon? Is this what we want? Can’t we find out that he is no Gary Gaetti before we platoon him?

The World Series Ring Effect

Barry Rozner again pegs what Cub fans in the city itself are feeling these days, and it has seeped in, at even what must be a subconscious level, to Michael Barrett, who I don’t think has any conscious decision making ability.

Rozner, in part:

Ever since the White Sox won the World Series, there has been a consistent suggestion that a South Side title puts more pressure on Cubs management. So far, there’s no evidence to support that theory. It has, however, put more pressure on Cubs fans, and that might explain why they’ve been so edgy lately.

See, Cubs fans are used to the losing. It’s part of life. They’ve had so many bad seasons that “disaster’’ doesn’t even begin to describe the last century for their team. After awhile, the years and names run together, and it’s all just one big defeat. But it’s different now.

“It was totally one-sided. There was no respect there at all. But now, it’s all changed," my friend Jim, the longtime Cubs sufferer says. “When they say, ‘We won and you’ll never win,’ they have something we don’t. I never listened to them before, but it really (bleeps) me off. It’s irritating, and it’s embarrassing. “I’m not mad at them. I’m mad at the Cubs for being so bad right now when the Sox are so good.’’

What bothers him most is that he’s bothered. He never thought he’d pay any attention to his Sox fan friends and all the grief he gets, but now his ears are wide open and it burns deep down because the Cubs stink again. That’s the subtle change that has taken place since October 2005. Cubs fans, for the most part, still don’t care what the Sox do or when they play.

The difference is, when their Sox fan friends start thumping their chests and beating up the Cubs, the Cubs fans are listening, and it’s getting to them.

So if Cubs players, coaches and management wonder why the fans have become nastier this year, less patient, and perhaps even more dangerous, it has less to do with another rotten season than it does the timing of another rotten season. They’re booing more than ever because of the pounding they’re getting from White Sox fans at school, at work and on the train.

Let’s face it, the pressure on Cubs fans’ ears has never been greater.

A New Deckchair on Team Titanic

I suppose he’s right about the deal coming too late, but I am still skeptical that Phil Nevin would have been the answer, even in a deal-for-deal’s-sake kinda way, but I do like Rozner’s line about the current manager of the team:

Even a token deal can sometimes breathe life into a team and wake up a manager, but as the troops waited for the cavalry, no reinforcements arrived. The Cubs took on the personality of their manager, whose body language and postgame comments signaled the season’s end, and the Cubs bottomed out at 13 games under. 500.

Of course, the pride of Naperville, Jerry Hairston, Jr., and his anemic hitting and general lack of everything but excuses will be missed. Can Neifi be next?