Roger Clemens is Bad at Hitting Batters

Clemens is a gutless loser. He tried to hit Jacque Jones in the first and barely hit him. Then Jones hit a 3 run 450 foot homer against him. This all started when Big Z hit Aubrey Huff in the back rather than go through the traditional process of pitching around him the night before.

Mateo (7 career innings coming into the game) hits Clemens, not on purpose it seemed to me, and the next inning, Dusty (also gutless) pinch hits for Mateo with Ryan "The Riot" Theriot. Though Baker denied saving Mateo from a beanball, the fact is that Mateo pitched real well, two runs and four hits over five innings, and looked strong in the fifth.

So, in the 6th, Clemens misses Theriot on the first pitch, and the crowd roars. He drills Theriot on the next pitch and both benches are warned. Clemens leaves the game to a standing ovation, down 3 runs. He gives up 5 runs in 6 innings and gets a standing ovation. Pretty knowledgeable fans, eh?

Baker’s decision means that the woeful middle relief came in, with Will “Bad” Ohman and Michael "From Bad to" Wuertz giving up the lead, making Clemens in line for the victory.

Until Matt Murtha (sic) homered off the closer-formerly-known-as-Brad Lidge in the ninth. That satisfied me to no end, as Clemens would get his ND. I love that Clemens came back to pitch for this relentlessly mediocre team. I hope he bounces around like Steve Carlton, and people only remember the crappy Roger Clemens.

Why I stayed up until 1230a to watch the end is beyond me. Maybe to see the Cubs run through their entire 25 man roster? Maybe to see Murton claim the everyday spot in left field?