Is Brian Hanley Gay?

Just askin.'

Todd Rundgren's 'Stood Up'

When I found we could have some brains
I was the first in line, cause we were, like
Dragging our knuckles along the ground

(dragging our knuckles along the ground)

Ever since, I've been convinced that every

Sacred thought is mine, and you were still

Dragging your knuckles along the ground

(dragging your knuckles along the ground)

Cause I think I'm there, dude

(don't get ahead of yourself)

I think I'm there, dude (Already high)

And when they asked us who will lead

I thought it surely must be me

But I stood up too fast(I stood up too fast)

Because as soon as I was boss

The next one in line took my head clean off

Cause I stood up too fast(I stood up too fast)

I was barely in my teens when I decided I was tired

Of always like dragging my knuckles along the ground

(dragging my knuckles along the ground)

So with all due haste I based until I got so freakin wired

Forgot I was dragging my knuckles along the ground

(dragging my knuckles along the ground)

I thought I was there, dude (you'll got ahead of yourself)

I thought I was there, dude

Already high

And when they asked for volunteers

I must have thought they said 'drink beers'

And I stood up too fast(I stood up too fast)

I can imagine things that can't possibly exist

And then I add them to an ever-expanding list

And when I've solved every significant test there is

Then I'll move on no matter how many clues I've missed

It's so easy to be smart but it's a struggle to be wise

You shouldn't be always throwing your weight around

(always throwing your weight around)

It's much better to be humble than to have a big hat size

Or you'll be just begging somebody to take you down

(begging somebody to take you down)

And you'll be nowhere, man (you got ahead of yourself)

And you'll be nowhere, man

Already high

And right before your very eyes

I have ignored my own advice

Cause I stood up too fast

(I stood up too fast)

And nobody has the slightest choice

But to put up with my droning voice

When I stood up too fast

(I stood up too fast)

From Illini Red Shirt to Champaign County Orange Suit?

An arrest warrant has been issued for Illinois basketball player Jamar Smith after prosecutors filed paperwork to revoke his probation for allegedly drinking alcohol.

The 21-year-old Peoria man is serving two years of probation after pleading guilty last year to felony driving under the influence causing great bodily harm. He drove a car into a tree in February 2007, injuring former teammate Brian Carlwell.

Champaign County State's Attorney Julia Rietz says the warrant was issued after police investigated an incident outside a campus bar called Fubar. Details weren't immediately available.

Smith is a junior guard who sat out last season after his guilty plea.
Illinois coach Bruce Weber wasn't immediately available for comment.

He later said, "I run a scummy program, and I cannot even recruit. What do you want from me?"

Frank Deford Column about the Dying Olympics

There is something wonderfully ironic about the Olympic torch, which is making its journey around the world with what appears to be, a big "KICK ME" sign on it for China.

Ah, what goes around ...

The torch was conjured up out of whole cloth by the Nazis for the 1936 Berlin Games, and then embedded in our dreamy Olympic consciousness by the magnificent gossamer photography of Leni Riefenstahl, Hitler's favorite movie maker. Now, three-quarters of a century later, the torch has come back as an unexpected curse to haunt another totalitarian government to which the International Olympic Committee has hitched its wagon.

The ignominy that China is going to endure with protests, which will cling like moths to the torch e're it goes, will far exceed whatever positive attention China might receive when the Olympics are in the world limelight for a fortnight in the dead of summer.

The reflected heat from the torch uproar will also help expose what a humbug the IOC can be. This is the organization that loves to call itself a "movement." Come on, would we accept it at face value if baseball commissioner Bud Selig stood up and crowed about the "Major League Baseball Movement?" Would we bow our heads if Mayor Oscar Goodman asked us to pay homage to the "Las Vegas Strip Movement?" Get serious.

There's no real difference, but only the IOC still calls itself a movement and gets away with it. Hey, it's no more than an international cartel that puts on a big show every four years. It's just NASCAR with accents. And to tell you the truth, I think the Olympics are yesterday's party. Once upon a time -- before globalism and jet airplanes and cyberspace -- bringing athletes together quadrennially in one place might have made sense. Today, it's an unnecessary excess. And while insular Americans may not understand this, soccer's World Cup has become much more important to many more people worldwide.

The Olympics has really ended up as a festival for those sports that nobody much cares about for the other three years and 50 weeks. The showcase is track and field, but how many of you can even name a single American track athlete in this year's Games? How many of you can name a single track athlete from any nation? The Olympics is a symphony orchestra without the violins and brass.

But hooray for all the Olympic athletes. Please, everybody, just threaten to boycott, but let the athletes all go to Beijing and have their day in the smog. It was so unfair when, in 1980, President Carter sacrificed our Olympians to make a point against the Soviet Union. But as the torch wends its way, spreading the bad news, I really think we might be seeing more than a censure of China. We may also be witness to the start of the Olympics' real decline.
I love London. I wish it hadn't got itself stuck with the 2012 Games. I love Chicago. I hope it gets lucky and doesn't get stuck with the 2016 Games. Every dog has its day. No movement is perpetual.

I met Frank Deford at an obscure sporting event, and, at the time, he was much more positive towards the "Olympic Movement" or at least the "athletes." I agree with everything he says except about the idea of a boycott. Boycott these Games, and the athletes can find something better to do with their lives. Like anything.

2008 NCAA Tournament Map

Click the link above to see it very clearly. Where can I find the NIT and CBI maps?

Indiana's 2009 Post-Season Destination

Get ready for the College Basketball Invitational. Having a bad season, even below .500? Doesn’t matter. Have a big name that will provide good ratings for their Television partner, Fox College Sports? Perfect.

From the organizers of the College Hoops Classic, the O'Reilly Auto Parts Classic, and other pre-season tournaments comes this rival to the NIT. While the 32-team NCAA-owned NIT now has a rule about being .500 or better, and gives automatic bids to teams that win their regular season but lose the automatic bid in their conference tournament, the CBI is all about the money.

Organizers of the CBI are trying to lure teams away form the NIT with promises of more money, home games (meaning more money), and guaranteed exposure on Fox Regional Sports affiliates. Compelling to your humble correspondent is the idea that the last two teams will play a best-two-out-of-three final.

It is also wise enough not to schedule any of its games opposite the NCAAs. All-in-all, if crappy teams can go to bowl games and sell t-shirts., then crappy basketball teams should be allowed to hang a CBI banner.

The Daily Herald is reporting that one such team is the Illinois-Chicago Flames, they of the 18-15 record. the school has signed a contract with the College Basketball Invitational.
The contract doesn't guarantee the Flames will be in the field that will be announced Sunday, but it gets them in the mix.

If UIC gets in, it requires a not insignificant investment on the school's part. The Flames must guarantee $60,000 to the tournament, with that money being recouped with ticket sales, etc. Sounds like a losing proposition to me. Missouri agrees. On the other hand, Rhode Island wants a bid. Washington is ready to be convinced.

Why Bobby Knight Retired Now

Sure, he could wait, he could do a "victory lap," and gather a bunch of rocking chairs and golf clubs, and he could be made to make gracious remarks all around a conference where he landed after being ignominiously shitcanned eight years ago.

But the real reason he quit now, in the middle of the season, is a simple one: Nepotism. Bob Knight (or someone in his circle) announced at least a few years ago that his son Pat, would take over once the Classic Bully quit. The story then was that Pat's recruiting was so bad that his dad would have to renege on scholarship offers.

But by quitting so abruptly in the middle of the season, he can command the continuity of his son in this major conference program. Even if he stinks.

If he quit effective at the end of the season, the athlectic director, et.al. could do a search for a real coach. Now, Little Knight will get the half season, then demand his own chance, not just 10-odd games.

The same thing is done all over American coaching, business, and politics. It still stinks, and hopefully Texas Tech will have the guts to make Pat the Passer earn his job.

Who Wants to See This Woman Naked?

The chief of police in BFD, Oklahoma had to quit because you could see this mess nekkid.

Turns out it is his wife. Poor Bastard.

Yeesh!

Theatre Beat

So, went with the wife, some siblings and their spouses to Martin Short in Fame Becomes Me, a one man show with a cast of six. Now, I don’t usually go to the theatre, and this appears to be a lot different than most. I chose to go (and organize the evening) because I really enjoy the over-the-top entertainer that Short is.

Ed Grimley is featured very briefly, and Katherine Hepburn makes a shorter appearance. A personal favorite, Jackie Rodgers, Jr. is explained. Jiminy Glick is featured in a longer bit, as he interviewed a “random” audience member. I think that spot will be used for a celebrity in the crowd, as last night featured a person who is on CLTV, a cable-only local news channel. Once they get out of Chicago and have higher wattage stars, the bit will be funnier than it was last night, and last night it was very funny.

The other cast members, Mary Birdsong, Nicole Parker, Capathia Jenkins (who belts out the showstopper, as planned), and Brooks Ashmanskas, are all very funny and talented, at one point doing wickedly funny and accurate impressions of Jodie Foster and Renee Zellwegger. I am not sure if I ever saw another Jodie Foster impersonation, and I doubt I will see a better one.

Mark Shaiman co-wrote the show and does a good job as a performer as well.

The framework for the show is the life story of Martin Short, though very little was truly part of his life. That fact was drilled into a potentially skeptical audience by the appearance of Martin’s very Canadian brother who was outraged with his and his family’s portrayal. Very astute SCTV fans will see that Short’s portrayal of his own father is the same as Brad Allen, Scrapco Metals boss.

Short’s actual role in Godspell was referred to, as he played Jesus’ stepbrother in a funny song. Most of the songs are short and very witty, making the pace of the show (especially in the first half) very quick.

That said, I wonder if the typical Broadway fan will appreciate or recognize the many show-bidness in-jokes and (pardon my Roy Leonard), sometimes rough language. Or maybe I am just hopelessly out of touch.